Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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