Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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