So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
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