After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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