This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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