I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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