On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Sober January is a disaster.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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