y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
