marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
