oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
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Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
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Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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