so that wasnt chicken after all
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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