I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
