a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
someone owes me an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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