Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
