So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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