so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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