i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
