He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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