She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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