I hate your face
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
