I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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