i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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