Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
being pregnant is like rehab
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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