I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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