Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Where is the hickey?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Did I show you my penis last night?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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