Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize