You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
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There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
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I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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