Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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