Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
