Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
