Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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