it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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