I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
