So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
