dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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