erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Text me some of your sweat
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