I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
