At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
