I'm gonna have a badass scar
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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