i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
