Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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