He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
