he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
