i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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