Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We left the knife in your bed.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
