have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
