sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
