Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize