so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We need to rekindle our bromance
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
