i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
