The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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