To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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