Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
