I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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