I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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