ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
