Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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