Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
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Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
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It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
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