Your dad touched me again.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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