naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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