No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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