# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I intend to get homeless drunk
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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