Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
And then he peed in my hair
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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