Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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