Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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