Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
