Need sex. Gaining weight.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm passing your future prison.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
