Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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