Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
soo... how was my night?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
