I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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